For a long, long time I've been working as hard as I can to interview two people: Vvix and Rudin, the Brazilian sensations.  Well today is the day where I finally deliver that interview.  Enjoy what is truly the most epic player spotlight to date:

Bilby: Rudin and Vvix, wow just wow.  I feel that I'm in the presence of two legends here.  How you guys rose from the ashes of a third world cesspool to become two of the greatest players in the game.  It's just a classic David and Goliath story.

Rudin: Bilby you're a retard, we don't live in a cesspool.

Vvix: Thanks for having us Bilby.

Bilby: So first question, were you guys scared when the magic wagons with wheels drove you to this interview? That must have been frightening. 

Rudin: There are cars in Brazil.

Bilby: Of course there are.  Listen, we know working for Nike isn't all it's cracked up to be so the guys at Irony wanted to do something for the two of you.  We put together this care package.

Vvix: Soap, toothpaste, deodorant?

Bilby: Some of the little things you miss out on in third world life.  The pretty smelling bar gets rubbed under your armpits.  It gets rid of that "I live in a slum" smell.  And that's not all.

Rudin: Here we go ...

Bilby: Cov used his NASA contacts to put in a good word at World Vision for you guys.  They've lined up a couple of sponsors!  Isn't that exciting!

Vvix: You did what?!

Bilby: Guys I know, I went the extra mile this time.  But you know what, I didn't just stop there.  Vvix ... Rudin ... meet your sponsor parents!!

Susan: Oh Gary they look just like the pictures!

Gary: I'm just glad God has blessed us so we can bless others less fortunate and less American than ourselves.

Bilby: Guys say hello to Gary and Susan, your new sponsors.  They're going to make sure you guys get to go to school and get three hot meals a day.  All for less then cost of a cup of coffee a day.

Vvix: ...

Rudin: ...

Gary: They're speechless.  It's OK kids, I know being in America is a bit overwhelming.  Probably a lot different than the village back home isn't it?

Vvix: That wasn't condescending.

Rudin: We don't live in a village you arrogant douche bag.

Susan: (whispers) Gary, we talked about being more understanding. (louder) Their ways are not our ways.  Their village is where they've grown up, it's their home.

Vvix: Bilby get these guys out of here.

Bilby: I'm sorry Gary and Susan, the boys are just a little "cranky" from their trip, just give us a few minutes.

Gary: No problem Bilby, just let us know when we can come back for the photo shoot.

Bilby: Sure thing.

Rudin: What photo shoot?

Bilby: Well to get you guys bumped to the top of the list Cov had to promise World Vision you guys would do a photo shoot.  You think you guys can fake the whole malnourished belly thing?  That's a big seller for them.

Vvix: Bilby we don't need help like this.  How do you think we have Internet, computers, and the homes we live in?

Rudin: How do you think I afford all the substance abuse I endure?

Bilby: I figured you just stole an American's laptop while they were on vacation?  So .. so you guys have homes?

Rudin: Of course we do hooker.  We're not any worse off than you.

Bilby:  I see what's going on here... I'm sorry guys.

Vvix: Thank you, can we get on with the interview now?

Rudin: Finally.

Bilby: You guys are royalty aren't you?  I had no idea.  I mean I should have put two and two together.  Who in Brazil would have access to computers and the Internet BUT royalty.

Dissb: Who's Royal?

Bilby: Easy tiger, it's just Rudin and Vvix they're princes in Brazil.  How'd you get in here?

Dissb: That's kind of hot.

Bilby: You're weirding me out again Dissb, remember we talked about this.

Dissb: I don't know what you're talking about.

Bilby: Whatever you say upside down Pinocchio.

Dissb: I just find it interesting.. it's pure curiosity.

Bilby: Dissb I mentioned going to Burger King last night and it was like a circus tent in your pants.

Rudin: All hail the Ringmaster!

Dissb: So Rudin, any women in your life?

Bilby: Dissb get out of here.

Cam: Bilby we ready for the photo opp?  We can't wait around all day, this needs to happen if you want to get paid.

Bilby: Hold on Cam, I'll have these guys ready in 10 minutes. 

Rudin: Who the fuck is Cam?  And you're getting paid for this?

Vvix: I want in.  What do I have to do?

Bilby: That's the spirit Vv.  Rudin, when you're faced with the decision to exploit your friends for money it isn't an easy choice, but I made the right one.

Rudin: ...

Bilby: I'll cut you both in for 25%.

Rudin: Deal.. let's do this shit.